we tied the knot last 12.26.11. love bug bites!!! <3
ragnarok
hay, nababaliw na naman ako sa kakalaro ng ragnarok hahahaha. ilang taon na ba yung huli akong naglaro neto? apat o lima– nung time na yun, natutulog na boypren ko sa computer shop ni manong, buti na lng may couch si manong sa comp shop, at okey lang kay manong mag stay kame hanggang madaling araw. bwahahaha. korek hanggang madaling araw talaga! nakakaloka! uuwi ako galing opisina ng 6 ng gabi tapos di pa ko nagpapalit minsan derecho na kila manong, laro na agad.. matatapos ako alas dos ng madaling araw pag ginanahan hanggang alas kwatro, hahaha! tulo laway na si boypren di pa din ako tapos. tsk. uuwi ako matutulog ng konte ending halfday, papagalitan na ni boss pag dating ko. wahaha. Ang kulet ng buhay.
Ngayon eto na naman ako.. pero this time sa kwarto ko na kaya ayos lang. di na ko nagrerent, aba akalain mo nagbunga din ang ilan taon kong pagiging late sa trabaho? hahaha. Nagbago na ko, di na ko nalalate ngaun, (minsan na lang.. hahah nagaadjust pa baket?) hehehe. pero yun nga, di na ko nalalate, bum kase ko sa bahay ng halos isang buwan iniintay ang bagong trabaho, mabuti na din at me pahinga bago sumabak ulet sa puyatan. wala nga lng anda, yun lang! hahaha.
Ang maganda sa lahat ng nangyare, yung boypren ko na naghihintay saken sa computer shop noon apat na taon ang nakalilipas ay ang parehong lalake na nagmamahal at sumusuporta pa din saken at nagbibigay ng tips para lumakas yung seksi kong sniper na character sa ragnarok. hahahaha
Ayan oh. kinasal na kame sa ragnarok! hahah >>>
Ang hirap ng buhay. Ok din na paminsan minsan makawala tayo sa hasel ng mundo at mag feeling hero at malakas na character sa isang laro. <3
Walang maisulat na matino. nakanang. hahaha.
The list-aholic!
Over time, I have evolved into the disorganised slattern I am today. Its sad to think i have forgotten how i was the master organizer of everything.
Yes, i have been a list-aholic since i was in highscool. I tend to write everything. I started to write about how i feel about something/someone, then there’s poetry.. yes! i have some poems way back which no one have seen. Then there’s the list of things i want to buy, places to go, things to do, people i look up to, dreams, names of crushes, places i have been to, person i want to be etc. Funny how i had those notebooks and scratched papers with notes no one would understand but me and notes scattered that has no meaning to anyone but myself. Without to-do lists, I might not have a life.
Just recently though, i realized i stopped writing things, i noticed this when i saw my idiot board almost empty. No notes of groceries i need to buy and to do’s, i have pictures though but i felt incomplete not seeing anything more than pics on my board. I kinda miss writing on a piece of paper, on a tissue paper or at the back of a receipt etc. i miss writing just about anything. I almost forgot that doing those lists makes me feel better, made me feel more organize and gave me a good feeling to look forward in the future.
There is nothing more pleasing than drawing a thick line through an itemised list – it is a small movement that validates your decision to get out of bed that morning. It is a tiny pat on the back – from you to you, it shows you just a fraction of what the human mind is capable of. Yes, you called up a friend to greet her on her birthday! Yes, you finally opened a savings account! Yes, finally bought that accessory you needed for your scrapbook! Never mind how tiny or seemingly inconsequential these triumphs are – YOU ACCOMPLISHED SET GOALS.
That is the basic joy of the to-do list. Whether it was hastily scratched out in eyeliner on the back of an envelope or was written at your palm! lol!
Today, i took my notebook again almost full of lists, messages, computations of my budget, and smiled. And i felt like writing things again, filling my idiot board with dreams and plans that i have in the future.
Sometimes all we need is just a little hope. That everything is not as bad as we think, that there are so many things in the world we are capable of achieving. We can all start with a pen and a paper, and write it down. The to-do list allows you to count and revel in your achievements. Where else in life are you congratulated like this? The answer is kindergarten. And that was toooooo many years ago. Nowadays no-one else will find your minor victories as uplifting as you, so stop looking for that. Instead, make a to-do list. And then cross off the things that your awesomeness helped you complete. That’s living.
hohoho.
Lol. What happened to ‘Im gonna BLOG everyday promise?” hahaha. promises as what they say..are meant to be broken. hohoho. I’ll try to blog. But i need more ideas though about topics to write and styles on writing .. I hope you guys can help!
DAD
its been a while since i last really wrote something worthwhile. Well, let me try again this time. I do hope though i’d make a little sense.
The past few months, well actually this year has been one of the most difficult year of my life. I lost my father last april 2011, which is really something i didnt expect happening, he was so strong and jolly and we really believed he could pull it through. Its tough and very depressing, and to add more seeing my mom cry and get hurt by what had happen
really breaks my heart.
I wrote some things about him few months back when he was still sick.. let me share some of it.
–
TOday i saw my dad with a stick of cigarette. The other day he was crying out loud wanting to get better.
My dad is sick, he has Anasarca secondary to chronic kidney disease.
He always listen to me more than anybody in the house. Earlier he saw me talking to him, asking him about the cigarette. Even though i knew he coudlnt hear me, he threw the cigarrette away and tossed it to the pail of water beside him. His right eye was shut, he cant open it because its swollen. my niece handed me the other cigarette my dad asked her to buy.
Then my dad in disappointment closed his two eyes and tried to breathe.
I don’t know what to feel that time. And I cant let him see my cry. I need to be strong for him and be firm about my judgement.
You know the feeling that you just want your love one to just get better and live well.. then that feeling of hope gets shattered every single day. Then you resort to just praying that he wont suffer anymore. But breaks your heart hearing you love one plead healing. He wants to live and be able to throw jokes to my mom and just be our dad for a little more time.
Tomorrow is my birthday.. and all i wish with all my heart is for my dads healing.
Lord, please. Give him another chance to live, to be a good servant.
— March 23, 2011.
God works in a very mysterious way. He knows whats best. I still have the pain inside me, like a part of me has been taken away from me.. from us, my family.
But on the other hand, i feel peace knowing that my dad is in the better place now. And that he wont feel anymore pain..
No Good byes just see you later.. so ive heard.
I’ll see you when i see you dad, i love you so much. You will always be my one Great DAD. We miss you everyday.
its been a while..
its been a while since i last visited my blog here. I had been through a lot.. But im still here. breathing. Will try to write again soon. I miss you wordpress!
^^
LOST LOVE
Have you ever had that someone whom you wished were yours when you were younger? I do. I had this big time crush or love should i say for a year, he’s my phone mate , he reside in the neighborhood next to ours. We talk every night about anything and everything, and sometimes go out for a walk and talk. Small chitchats that lead to long conversations night by night. Then suddenly the feeling grew as the day pass by. He became a part of my daily routine and i loved every moment i spent on the phone talking to him.. We would usually start talking at 8 or 9pm and end up at 3 to 4 or sometimes until 6am, just right before i got to school. Lol. These was the “telebabad” era. lol.
One day, he told me.. he’s got himself a girlfriend, ouch. I told him im happy for him but deep inside, it crushed my heart into pieces. I began not talking to him that much.. then until i wont talk to him at all.. We grew apart. I cant blame him.. he didn’t know i was inlove with him. But deep inside my heart, i thought he felt the same for me. Truth sucks, so i’ve heard.
Then after 12 long years, thanks to technology. facebook, he found me! Funny,. Just yesterday. We talked and as if nothing happened, we enjoyed talking and i really missed him. he still have that goofy smile and sense of humor i fell inlove with 12 years ago. Then he opened ‘i wanted to kiss you when we were young’… and im like WTF?!! lol. Then he started asking, if i had feelings for him back then. I admitted everything, ive moved on anyway. and we had a good laugh at every stories. ^^
Then i realized, the things that happens to us is not to hurt us or tore us down. But to mold us and make us a better person eventually. Life is 10% of what happens to us, and 90% of how we react on it. Im thankful we saved the friendship, though he keep telling me, i should’ve told him lol! said he thought im not into him and that i just really want to be friends that time. STupid insesitive boy. Haha. Im glad his back. ^^
ARACHNOPHOBIA
Fear of spiders.
I can stare on snakes eye on the television or watch an anaconda eat a horse alive but not look on a hairy creepy disgusting lifetaking image of a spider. Oh please no! Specially now that i found out that spiders have EIGHT (8) eyes!!! aaaarrrghh!!! Imma die!
Spiders, of all the things in the world.. SCARES ME! I’d die in a heartbeat if i’d see a tarantula or a really big spider in real life. Whenever i see one small spider in the bathroom or anywhere.. I’d actually ask it to go away- POLITELY. I dont know whats with them, but they’re like creatures from the bottom of earth and they give me the creeps EVERYTIME.
I used to watch my brothers play with spiders before, when we were young. I cant remember the time when i actually had this fear. Its not really embarrassing though, coz i know a number of people who also hates spider. yeah, they HATE spiders.. but on my part i FEAR them. lol.
Sometimes i wonder, why were they made. Whats their purpose in this world. Was it to scare people like me? I see them as a monster, much more dangerous than a snake. Their hairy body makes me want to scream.
Ok i dont want to elaborate. Im having goosebumps now.
Lets stop this.
LOVE isnt enough.
Love is not enough. To make two people stay together. Love fades, i can say this is true. Somehow along the way, you’d feel that it isnt the same anymore.. not because you dont love the other person or you found someone else.. its because the other person or you, have stopped showering your love with caring and become stagnant along the way. Its hard to accept, after how many years of being together.. you suddenly have this feeling of being unsure. I cant count the times i prayed for GOD’s blessing to be married with the guy ive been with for 4 years.. but little by little i started not praying about it.. not even thinking of it .. and worst dread it.
I suddenly saw all the flaws in the relationship. All the things that is wrong with him. Which, i, most of the time overlooked before because i was madly, deeply inlove with him.
Napapagod din ang puso.
Before, i stubbornly say that this phrase is not true to those who are inlove. Love conquers all! i always say. Maybe true.. maybe not.
Im in the stage of confusion. CLueless. Numb at some point. Lost.
I dont know. *sigh*
